Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
