she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
