i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
