So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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