I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize