well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize