I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
