Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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