peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
