I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
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dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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