i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
