she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
