We named our party play list daddy issues
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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