then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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