Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
