threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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