New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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