Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
