Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
