Someone shit on the floor
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
