Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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