Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
