I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
