I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize