i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
where are my eyebrows?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
