The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
