when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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