If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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