And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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