Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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