god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
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