Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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