Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
