i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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