does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
