He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
