fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize