My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I deserve this hangover.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
