oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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