since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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