That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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