just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I deserve this hangover.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
