i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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