i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize