Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Who wears a wallet chain?!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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