maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
