I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
false alarm, still single
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
