The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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