holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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