Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
