yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just forgot I was standing up.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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