Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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