Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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