i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
