conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
