Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
