I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize