Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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