I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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