First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Pooping to opera.
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