Fuck appropriateness.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
