When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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